drive

For the first time since I've been back in the states, I drove all by my lonesome from Southern California to San Francisco. My parents are very protective of me, so they were a bit wary of me doing the drive by myself. It was quite nice though. And I'd call whenever I stopped and I was paranoid of people and all that as usual.

I got to listen to all my new musics which include lullabye renditions of Radiohead songs. I was at Best Buy and saw it and was a bit intrigued. It did not disappoint. It was super cinematic, and I think adults will appreciate it. Don't think it'll put babies to sleep though. Maybe. It has a lot of glockenspiels and synths to it.

Since I had so much time to myself, I could think and let my mind wander--safely though, since I'm driving. At least, I wouldn't have some human butting in and halting my trains of thought. All my trains were on schedule, going places. Oh my gosh, I'm writing weird, I think it's because I have a headache. Anyway, here are some things I think about:

1. My future: For obvious reasons, I don't know what I'm doing, and I try to appear as if I have a plan. I have more like a list of "to-do's" than a plan. But I have faith that everything will work out in the end. If the next year means the biggest depression of my life, then bring it. Another learning experience. If good things happen, then it was meant to happen.

2. Visualizing myself in situations: I often visualize myself doing things that I could never do. Doesn't everybody. Sometimes it's super little things. Things I should've done. Like when I saw someone at Warped Tour and I didn't go up to him and say how much I love his music. I could've done it, but I was chicken, and I'll never have a chance like that again. I blew it. I do stuff like this all the time. Maybe less than before, but still. I keep ruining things for myself, and it's not good. When I run it in my head like a movie, I do it better this time. I make it right. Maybe I'll get another chance?

3. Goals: What haven't I done? What books do I need to read? What can I do to make the Earth a better place? How can I be a better human being?