happy new year!

Okay, so it's not New Year's yet, but I just wanted to say it anyway.

It's been a while.

I'm sorry I haven't been updating. I've been working a lot and doing other things on the side, and also, there's been a boy at work who's been a constant distraction.

How could I explain our relationship? It's like a Jim-Pam thing from "The Office" in its earlier seasons, but it started out like a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan thing from "You've Got Mail." I mean, we HATED each other in the beginning, can you believe it? He would prank me, and I would be so mean and rude to him, it was almost too funny to be real, if that makes any sense. And then, I started getting slightly interested in this mean, yet funny, boy. Because he really is a funny guy, aside from the pranking, and he's good at his job, and we actually like the same things.

So, after work, there's a party at this bar, and he asks me if I'm going, and I say yes. I go, and when he shows up, he comes with his girlfriend who is this skinny girl and pretty, and I'm kind of disappointed because all this time, this pranking/rude commenting almost felt like a form of flirting, but all this time he had a girlfriend. So I shut the whole thing down, there are plenty of guys are there who are just as interesting.

And then when this other PA quit, they MOVED HIM TO THE DESK IN FRONT OF ME. Unbelievable. Torture. I thought I was going to hate going to work for the rest of my days. And we had to work closely together and do projects together that involved us being in each other's company for long periods of time not to mention that our desks freaking face each other.

Soon enough, I start crushing on him again, this boy with a girlfriend. And it's hopeless for me, but I can't help it. We make each other laugh, and we work well together, and it's just nice to have this sort of relationship with a co-worker. We don't hang out outside of work, that would be weird. But we work well together in the office, and I'm starting to be okay with that, and at the same time, I want my crushing on him to go away, but it can't.

Then, the night of the holiday party at work and a week before his birthday, his girlfriend dumps him. I told this to a friend of mine, and she said, "It's all coming together for you!" I'm happy, I mean, the guy is single now, but I don't want to be his rebound, and, God, I can't really tell if he likes me anyway. I mean, I feel like he does, but...Guys like him don't really go for girls like me.

Like if this were a movie, it would never happen. Even if it's one of those indie films where it might happen, it wouldn't between the two of us. I mean, he is that guy in high school that was super popular and smart and funny and everyone liked him. He's that guy. And the cosmic chances of him and I getting together are nil.

Anyway, he took it pretty hard that night at the holiday party. I left early since my drive from the studio is so far, but the next morning, he came in, hungover as hell and asked me where I was after the party. I told him about my long drive and he said, "That's understandable...I just wish you were there."

Those last 6 words just sealed the deal. And he said it with this sadness leftover from his break-up, it killed me.

So, I'm biding my time and just letting this lead to, well, wherever, and I'm not going to rush anything with this guy because, God, wouldn't that ruin things. We have a nice thing going on right now. We work so well together, we're freaking Mulder and Scully. But if anything happens, you'll know...