rejection, cancellation, dead

When a commercial we're bidding on (finding the crew, getting it all together, etc.) doesn't work out, it's "dead". For example, "the Wal-Mart job is dead."

I can't think of a more final word.

On the last 2 projects I worked on, none of them came to fruition. I found the boom crane. I found location scouts. I found a caterer and a production supervisor. All that led to nothing, and it's the most disappointing feeling in the world. And then I have to call these people, cancel the crane, tell the location scout that she could take that other shoot she's been holding out for. No one is more upset than me. Everyone takes it in stride. "This happens, Elaine. This happens." My mentor told me.

I need to work on this.

Hung out at the edit bay today when there was nothing else for me to do. I watched them put together a reel--it's like a trailer of a director's best work. Our executive producer didn't like the song some clips were cut to, so we had to find a new one. By sheer LUCK, this one song we found matched perfectly. At one point, the words of the song eerily matched the words a character was speaking. They were synced up so perfectly, and it was all chance. I love that. Dave and I just looked at each other with wide eyes. Both of our faces held the same expression: "Did you see that?!" It was beautiful.

I was so lost in that moment that I forgot about the dead projects, the cancellations, the production supervisor out of a job for the next week. I was content. If only there was a way to be this happy consistently.

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Switching gears, but that's pretty much it about my internship. I do the same stuff every day, not much variation until today.

I'm starting to read more, and I've made a commitment to read at least 25 pages a day, which isn't that much. I'm reading a TON of books simultaneously, something that's also new to me, but it's quite nice because all the books cover a variety of subjects, so I can just choose what I'm in the mood for.

I've been interested in deaf-mute characters (possibly for a future project), so I picked up Carson McCullers's The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter. There's also Art of War by Sun Tzu, and The Beach by Alex Garland. Gosh, I feel like there's so many more books that I have to read that I haven't even thought about!

Going to sleep. Actually, time to read. My commute is so horrid that I spend almost 2 hours in the car, each way. Disgusting. I hate it.